In my experience, almost everyone wants more feedback… and almost everyone doesn’t give enough feedback.
In fact, most people I speak to would say that they are not just open to feedback, they crave it. And yet, when it comes to giving feedback, most people find it difficult.
Why is this?
There are lots of reasons why giving feedback can be hard — not enough opportunities in a busy day, it’s challenging to think of something meaningful, we’re worried about offending or getting it wrong — or simply that we are too wrapped up in our own internal dialogue and struggles to have space for others.
So, what can we do to share more feedback.
I’ve found that simply offering an observation about a person can be meaningful. For example:
- “I noticed that you had your head in your hands when discussing this task”
- “I saw that you had your video off for most of that meeting”
- “I saw that X interrupted you in that meeting.”
These are meant to be objective things that you notice, without judgement or conclusion.
There are several benefits to this approach:
- It offers a data point to this person about how they may be perceived.
- It gives them a chance to share what they are experiencing and going through.
- It allows you to update your own perceptions and assumptions.
Most importantly to me, it creates an opportunity for connection — a feeling of being noticed and recognized in a complex and busy world
If you find this interesting, Non Violent Communication has further steps to apply this to communication and conflict resolution.